I love the concept of serious rest. Holy shit. So much of this past decade, I've focused on hustling and grinding like all the influences keep telling me to and my fucking brain just doesn't work like that. This post feels like a nice pat on the back that I'm doing fine.
I relate to what you wrote about journaling a lot… I kept a journal for twenty (very lonely) years. Once I started having more people to connect with, I began to lose this practice. I have been thinking about re-entering journaling: as a state. I’m going over different ideas in my head of what that will look like/ feel like. I’m even asking myself questions (that seem so silly!!!!) — like: “What is the purpose?” Recently my best friend very kindly told me she thought I should start journaling again, to remember how to process things on my own. She said it with love. I’ve taken her advice to heart. I forget sometimes that having a private world helps make the rest of me stronger, more self/aware and better able to show-up for myself—and others. Thanks for these thoughts on journaling, feeling inspired to return to the practice… I have a feeling the result will be supportive and surprising, in ways I can’t imagine perceiving.
I’m glad you practiced “serious rest”— the way you described. it’s an admirable action.
oh my gosh, "to remember how to process things on my own" -- that resonates with me, too. DEEPLY. it feels important to have a private world. i remember trying morning pages during the early years of motherhood and writing my last novel. i went back and found the journal, and couldn't believe how much i'd forgotten about that happened -- about how i'd felt, what i was doing, the struggles and joys i was having. felt inspiring. i don't want to lose that. like it's a gift to future myself.
I love that your journal you described was a gift to your future self! I so relate!
Yes, I’m really wanting to honor my future self (and her rapidly-deteriorating memory lol) by journaling. Getting back in practice… I know how much my younger journals served as a record for what trauma and time has erased… I want to have the “facts,” as close to as I am able to achieve them. Memoir is such a slippery-slope, as is memory. I know journaling will help with this, too.
Beyond this? Anything I can do to honor my inner-world/s will feed my temple. Needing all the nourishment, these days.
This reflection is so beautifully layered—it feels like a conversation you’re having with yourself, and yet it invites everyone reading into that quiet, vulnerable space. I love how you move between longing for the simplicity of those high school summers and the way you’ve built new rhythms of self-expression as an adult. There’s such tenderness in how you honor both versions of yourself, and the honesty about journaling (or the fragmented, digital equivalent of it) really resonates. I think so many of us have shifted into those private “junk drawers” of thought—notes apps, emails, or even random text docs—where the rawness of our words feels safe, even if no one else will see them.
I’m so glad to hear that you’re starting to feel more like yourself again, even if “doing less” didn’t always feel restful. The way you describe “serious resting” and trying to reconcile creativity with physical limitations is deeply relatable—there’s such a tension between wanting to produce and simply needing to exist. It sounds like the time you took allowed you to reconnect with what makes your creative process meaningful, even if it didn’t come in the form you expected. That’s no small thing.
The goth book club sounds amazing, and the choice of Dear Dawn feels like such a powerful and challenging read—it’s the kind of thing that will spark rich conversations, I’m sure. And your sweater design? Absolutely sell it. It’s another beautiful way to connect with people who admire not only your work but also your sense of style and community.
hey thank you, this was so thoughtful. "serious resting" feels like something i need to cultivate more, i always hear that breaks and rest can make you more productive. but it doesn't always feel that way 😆
also thanks about the book club :) feel free to join if you feel so inclined
I love the concept of serious rest. Holy shit. So much of this past decade, I've focused on hustling and grinding like all the influences keep telling me to and my fucking brain just doesn't work like that. This post feels like a nice pat on the back that I'm doing fine.
So inspiring
thank you 🙏
I relate to what you wrote about journaling a lot… I kept a journal for twenty (very lonely) years. Once I started having more people to connect with, I began to lose this practice. I have been thinking about re-entering journaling: as a state. I’m going over different ideas in my head of what that will look like/ feel like. I’m even asking myself questions (that seem so silly!!!!) — like: “What is the purpose?” Recently my best friend very kindly told me she thought I should start journaling again, to remember how to process things on my own. She said it with love. I’ve taken her advice to heart. I forget sometimes that having a private world helps make the rest of me stronger, more self/aware and better able to show-up for myself—and others. Thanks for these thoughts on journaling, feeling inspired to return to the practice… I have a feeling the result will be supportive and surprising, in ways I can’t imagine perceiving.
I’m glad you practiced “serious rest”— the way you described. it’s an admirable action.
Sending you love, Elle
oh my gosh, "to remember how to process things on my own" -- that resonates with me, too. DEEPLY. it feels important to have a private world. i remember trying morning pages during the early years of motherhood and writing my last novel. i went back and found the journal, and couldn't believe how much i'd forgotten about that happened -- about how i'd felt, what i was doing, the struggles and joys i was having. felt inspiring. i don't want to lose that. like it's a gift to future myself.
I love that your journal you described was a gift to your future self! I so relate!
Yes, I’m really wanting to honor my future self (and her rapidly-deteriorating memory lol) by journaling. Getting back in practice… I know how much my younger journals served as a record for what trauma and time has erased… I want to have the “facts,” as close to as I am able to achieve them. Memoir is such a slippery-slope, as is memory. I know journaling will help with this, too.
Beyond this? Anything I can do to honor my inner-world/s will feed my temple. Needing all the nourishment, these days.
xo
Hell yeah! So glad you're back, so exciting!
thank you kai 🙏🥲
This reflection is so beautifully layered—it feels like a conversation you’re having with yourself, and yet it invites everyone reading into that quiet, vulnerable space. I love how you move between longing for the simplicity of those high school summers and the way you’ve built new rhythms of self-expression as an adult. There’s such tenderness in how you honor both versions of yourself, and the honesty about journaling (or the fragmented, digital equivalent of it) really resonates. I think so many of us have shifted into those private “junk drawers” of thought—notes apps, emails, or even random text docs—where the rawness of our words feels safe, even if no one else will see them.
I’m so glad to hear that you’re starting to feel more like yourself again, even if “doing less” didn’t always feel restful. The way you describe “serious resting” and trying to reconcile creativity with physical limitations is deeply relatable—there’s such a tension between wanting to produce and simply needing to exist. It sounds like the time you took allowed you to reconnect with what makes your creative process meaningful, even if it didn’t come in the form you expected. That’s no small thing.
The goth book club sounds amazing, and the choice of Dear Dawn feels like such a powerful and challenging read—it’s the kind of thing that will spark rich conversations, I’m sure. And your sweater design? Absolutely sell it. It’s another beautiful way to connect with people who admire not only your work but also your sense of style and community.
Welcome back—it’s clear you’ve been missed.
hey thank you, this was so thoughtful. "serious resting" feels like something i need to cultivate more, i always hear that breaks and rest can make you more productive. but it doesn't always feel that way 😆
also thanks about the book club :) feel free to join if you feel so inclined
You’re so so welcome, and yes I’ll try and read the book in time for your next bookclub 👌🏽
THANK YOU FOR SHOWING BACK UP! Missed you fam.
i'M HERE. missed y'all.
WE MISSED YOU TOO! I'm sending you an email!
Might give knife party a shout 🤔
let me know if you have any questions!
Huzzah!
i am risen
Elle 3:16
🙏